2014

It has been almost a year since I last wrote, which is just too sad for words. Actually, it's just too sad, I'm going to write words about it right now.

Writing actually helped me through things a year ago when I was falling apart. Then things started to get better and I assume I didn't have time or something. Maybe I just was using my energies in a different way, I didn't have much to spare in the way of writing.

Anyway, I stopped, and I've missed it. A lot.

For weeks I've been thinking of what I could possibly write about. Nothing really came to mind, so this is my attempt to just start again. Hence, the rambly thing I have going.

But I've decided, as I did when things were rough, that maybe to get to my next goal in life I need to figure out where I am now, and ultimately where I want to be.

Also, I'm kind of a nerd, not going to lie, and maybe this is a way to release that pent up nerd-ergy instead of just wearing my R2-D2 socks and Star Trek shirt. I'm referring to writing fan fics, but like, I guess this could encompass whatever, too.

Sooooo, goals - life goals
(This is so weird, I feel like those people that plan to have three kids and have their names picked out and exactly what age they want to be when they have each.)

 1. I want to make an honest to God attempt at acting professionally. Not just, "Oh I auditioned for a couple things." But really going to cattle calls and a lot of different auditions no matter where.

2. I want to try my hand at writing more than just a blog, especially one that starts collecting dust after a few months. I want to try writing a script or a pilot, maybe I'll just start by writing some short stories.

3. I want to get free lance eventually making videos and taking photos for organizations. I would appreciate that work being artistic in some way like for a theatre, but if not, that's alright. I just want to start out doing it.

4. I have been so insanely lazy about working out and eating healthy. I need to start doing this again, for real. The goal will be to do a little yoga practice everyday with other work outs combined, while actually paying attention to what I'm putting in my body. Like for real, I really want abs. Even when I played varsity soccer I didn't want abs, but for some reason I do right now so, this is going to take eating perfectly and varying my work outs.

5. I need to find some way to stop thinking about dying all the time. It is a contant worry of mine and contributes to an anxiety I have about things that stresses me out more than anything should. I should either go talk to someone about this, or at least find something that minimizes my worry. We'll see.

I'm sure I'll think of more eventually, but for now that seems sufficiently terrifying.